Roads

Scars on my body, trophies, pictures, notes, t-shirts, songs… all of have significant memories of my journey of life…every mile in the vicinity of PCEP can bring me back to summer mornings when I was flying, with the wind at my back and sweat pouring down, to fall afternoons with tears from a broken heart pouring down my face…running for more than just a time or a distance…I was running away from memories, running away from life. Dirt roads of memories, rejoicing, crying out to my Savior. He found me. Rolling hills that evoke bursts of speed and shouts of joy to my perfect Creator who has filled me to the brim with His never ending grace. Roads that have stopped my watch and brought me down to my knees in front of my God, out of breath, confused, hopeless, directionless, but confident that I was valued by The One and Only. All memories take a trip down one road or another, and even good memories can be painful to travel back to. No one wants to live in the past, and sometimes even living in our present state is difficult….Is it always good to look to the future? If we’ve changed drastically, is it good to blot out our past? To ignore or repress old memories or can we still learn from them?? an unexpected trip down memory lane today brought me to tears…okay that’s an understatement, when I finally was alone I was bawling. I don’t know the person I see when I reflect back, yes our appearances may be similar, but our hearts share no common ground. Scars often run deep, but sometimes the fond memories can run deeper.

When creating this blog I titled it ‘break my heart for what breaks Yours’ as a cry out to God….give me peace following your will, it was intended as a glance towards the future, or even the present. But my God’s heart was broken in my past, and so is mine.