I love where I’m at in life right now. I have a few great close friends who have hearts for God, a future full of opportunity, a family that supports me relentlessly, a sense of direction (somewhat?) no real struggles or pressures. However I find myself continually aching for the future, to know the future, to see what God will unfold in 5, 10 or 15 years. I think I just want to SEE/know what will be. I still want to live through it, but just to know, or be prepared …or something??
But it leads me to question…am I not content right now? am I not content with where God has me? am I seeking to be filled, looking to something else for fulfillment? Looking to the future, with hopes that it will 'fill' me more than my present? Do I not trust that God has amazing plans to use me, and to glorify Him? And if I did know what or who the future held, would try to alter it?? What good would it be to know?
In my heart I don’t want that to be true! And in my head I feel content, I feel peace, and I feel fulfilled. I guess I want to continually check my motives, continually reassess, because I want to be ALL of God and NONE of me. I don’t want an excitement for the future to be masking a void that I’m trying to fill with something other than God.
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